A man joined a Satanic cult and started praying to the dark one. Lo and behold, Satan actually appeared with a big hammer in his hand and asked him to make 3 wishes.

"3 wishes? But I wanted 100."

"No, you can only have 3."

"But I want 100."

"Do you want to ask your 3 wishes, or should I leave?"

So this guy agrees.
His first wish is, "I want you to change this giant hamm [...]

A man joined a Satanic cult and started praying to the dark one. Lo and behold, Satan actually appeared with a big hammer in his hand and asked him to make 3 wishes.

"3 wishes? But I wanted 100."

"No, you can only have 3."

"But I want 100."

"Do you want to ask your 3 wishes, or should I leave?"

So this guy agrees.
His first wish is, "I want you to change this giant hammer into a small wooden stick."
And so it happens.
His second wish is, "I want you to stick this wooden stick up your arse."

No choice left, Satan pushes the stick up his arse with tears flowing down his cheeks. He roars, "Ask your third wish!"

"I want you to grant me my remaining 97 wishes, else I'm going to convert this stick back into the giant hammer..."

Moral of the story: You cannot get anything from the management until you put a hammer up their arse.

Cultural laws

1) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

2) In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

3) Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This al [...]

Cultural laws

1) In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.)

2) In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

3) Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??)

4) The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Wonder which head?)

5) There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time... Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)

6) In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!)

7) Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)

8) In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.)

9) In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I gather this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)

10) In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? ...Not as great as Guam!)

Just in case you've had a rough day or you ARE having a rough day.

Here is a quick 7-Step stress management technique recommended in the
latest psychological texts.

The funny thing is - this really works.

Try this:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic [...]

Just in case you've had a rough day or you ARE having a rough day.

Here is a quick 7-Step stress management technique recommended in the
latest psychological texts.

The funny thing is - this really works.

Try this:

1. Picture yourself near a stream.

2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

3. No one but you knows your secret place.

4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."

5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

6. The water is crystal clear.

7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding under the water.

See - You are smiling already.

Here are a few quotes from George W. Bush:

"The inhabitants of Greece are the Grecians"

"The French don't have a word for 'Entrepreneur'"

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future."

"The future wi [...]

Here are a few quotes from George W. Bush:

"The inhabitants of Greece are the Grecians"

"The French don't have a word for 'Entrepreneur'"

"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country."

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system."

So I was at the doctor's clinic the other day with my farting problem.
I explained it to him, "I fart all the fucking time!! But the good part is that they are silent and they don't smell, so nobody knows. Ever since I stepped into your clinic, I have farted about 20 times and nobody noticed."

He gave me some medicine and told me to come after a week.

A week later I went fuming to his office... "What kinda medicine was that? Now my farts stink [...]

So I was at the doctor's clinic the other day with my farting problem.
I explained it to him, "I fart all the fucking time!! But the good part is that they are silent and they don't smell, so nobody knows. Ever since I stepped into your clinic, I have farted about 20 times and nobody noticed."

He gave me some medicine and told me to come after a week.

A week later I went fuming to his office... "What kinda medicine was that? Now my farts stink like hell!!... The good thing is that they are still silent so nobody knows I did it."

The doctor calmly replied, "Ok so your nose infection is cleared. Next I will give you medicine for your ears......."