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worrying anal seepage's Statistics

Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 21 hours ago.

User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 485
Total Joke Score: 6,025
Total Time Active: 514 hours, 34 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 987 Live Jokes: 392
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 595 Duplicate Jokes: 19
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 6.10 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 15.37
Average Time Before Deletion: 2,685m
Favourite Subcategory Illness and mortality > Obesity (69)

The best of worrying anal seepage's 395 jokes (View All).
1452587
My wife developed breast cancer and told me her doctor had suggested a double mastectomy, so I went online to see if there was any alternative.

Tracy, 36, from Newcastle looks a good one.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by worrying anal seepage in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago - Current Score: 479

1429519
I'm not saying my wife's a fat bitch, but I've had to put all the chocolate biscuits well out of reach.


On the floor.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 431.6

1423673
I got sacked tonight for refusing to serve some girl who'd clearly had far too many already.


The fat bitch complained to my McManager.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 358.4

1468179
I was installing a light in the loft today, when I slipped off a joist and put my foot right through the bedroom ceiling. It scared the shit out of my girlfriend.


I'm not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 week ago - Current Score: 259.6

1452043
I sat on my hand for fifteen minutes earlier, before hoovering the living room.


Just so it felt like the wife was doing it.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Other - Hoover - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago - Current Score: 222.6

1436856
What's blue and full of Haribo?

Kevin Webster's overalls.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Crime - Paedophilia (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 202.8

1418881
For her own sake, I hope Katie Price's next kid is a mong.


It'll need the massive head to prevent it falling out six months early.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 191

1446359
It cost me thirty grand when my wife was kidnapped.

Hell of a party though.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 months ago - Current Score: 182.4

1414694
I popped into Primark this morning to pick up a t-shirt my daughter had her eye on.

"Excuse me," I said at the till, "but any chance of a discount on this?"

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't think so," The cashier replied, "it's only a six quid item."

"Yes, but it's soiled," I explained. "There's a big black stain on the front."


"That's Rihanna's face, sir."
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Racism - Black - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 179.2

1443149
My neighbour owes me a new headlamp and radiator grille for my three week old VW Passat.

I'm not going to push for it though, as I owe him a seven year old blonde girl with poor road sense.
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Joke by worrying anal seepage in Illness and mortality - Accidents - Added: 2 months, 22 days ago - Current Score: 149.4


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