tim.mark.phil's Statistics

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User Statistics

User Level:	User
Contribution Points:	202
Total Joke Score:	147
Total Time Active:	3 hours, 33 minutes

Joke Statistics

Total Jokes Submitted:	12	Live Jokes:	5
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates):	7	Duplicate Jokes:	3
Average Joke Score (All Jokes):	12.25	Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted):	29.40
Average Time Before Deletion:	45,316m
Favourite Subcategory	Other > People (1)

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All of tim.mark.phil's 5 jokes.

As I watched an old lady struggling to keep her balance whilst crossing the road with her shopping - I thought to myself
"I wonder if I would laugh if she were to fall over"
And then I burst into hysterics

As she was hit by a bus.

Joke by tim.mark.phil in Other - People - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 135.2

I've always had a fear of towers.

Ever since Eiffel off one.

Joke by tim.mark.phil in Other - ??? Random - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 4.8

My daughter's teacher asked me why I chose to nickname my daughter Lumpy.
"Is it because she is slightly overweight, because I believe that is not helping her self esteem"

"No" I replied, "She's got cancer".

Joke by tim.mark.phil in Illness and mortality - Cancer - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 4.4

Now the olympics is over, it's time for the paralympics.
I've been looking forward to a decent wank.

Joke by tim.mark.phil in Sports - Olympics (+ 1 more) - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 4

Girls always think I'm being really nice when I hold a door open for them.

Which is fine for me, as I'm only doing it to check out their arse.

Joke by tim.mark.phil in Other - Stupid - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 0.2

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