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thereisnogod's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 174
Total Joke Score: 437
Total Time Active: 28 hours, 37 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 61 Live Jokes: 24
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 37 Duplicate Jokes: 4
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 7.16 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 18.21
Average Time Before Deletion: 4,353m
Favourite Subcategory Other > ??? Random (2)

The best of thereisnogod's 24 jokes (View All).
1290744
The European Union is a lot like that film 'The Human Centipede'.

Because of a psychotic German we are all stitched together. Now, after a period of eating each others shit, one of us are about to die, meaning the rest of us are fucked.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Politics - ??? Other (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 175.2

1232590
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys.

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Sex and shit - ??? General - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 137

1403061
Vegetarian: I refuse to eat meat because I'm at one with Mother Nature and believe the slaughtering of innocent animals purely for food or pleasure is morally wrong.

Yeah? Well lets put you in a cage with a tiger and see if Mother Nature agrees with you...
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Other - Vegetarianism - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 41.2

1346944
The RSPCA: Protecting animals from cruelty since 1824.

Unless you're a cow, a pig, a chicken, or a baby sheep. Then you're fucked.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Other - ??? Random - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 15.6

1283264
".....and now, Dave has specially requested to say a few words", the vicar said as he stepped down from the podium.

It was my mother-in-laws funeral. As I stepped onto the podium, and looked out over the crowd that had gathered, it resembled an unrelenting sea of grief and misery. Everyone was sobbing uncontrollably. Especially my wife, she had been hit hard by the news and was rocking back and forth, obviously unable to comprehend why her beloved mother was taken away f [...]

I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 11.8

1235356
Nationalism

You're born free, you get screwed out of half of it, and you wave a flag celebrating it.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by thereisnogod, originally by Doug Stanhope in Politics - ??? Other - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 10

1235650
I was supposed to attend a class on how to stop premature ejaculation today.

But I arrived way too early, and then fell asleep before anyone else came.
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Joke by thereisnogod in Sex and shit - Ejaculation (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 9.6

1274929
Fabrice Muamba: "The morning before the game me and my Father prayed together, and I prayed for God to protect me - and he didn't let me down"

I think you better find out what the hell your Father was praying for, Fabrice.
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Joke by thereisnogod in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 7

1379419
You know that kid at the arcade who's just watching the demo and pressing the buttons like they're playing?

That's how I handle adulthood.
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Joke by thereisnogod in Other - Similarities - Added: 8 months ago - Current Score: 5.8

1234634
What if the second-coming of Jesus Christ has already happened, but we've locked Him up in a mental institution because God told him to kill prostitutes? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by thereisnogod in Religion - Jesus - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 5.2


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