slopboy's Statistics

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this i [...]

Why do men die first? This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation.

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.
If you work too hard, there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favouritism. If she gets a job ahead of you, its equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, its sexual harassment. If you keep quiet, its male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. If SHE asks you, it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and sexy underwear, you're a pervert. If you don't, you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist. If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain. If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of yourself. If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.

Why do men die first?

Because they want to!

A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister."

"I do?" questions the confused youngster.

"Sure," responds the dad. "You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."

The little girl gave this a few moments thought and remarked,

" [...]

A little girl says, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister."
Trying to be funny, the daddy says, "Honey, you do have a sister."

"I do?" questions the confused youngster.

"Sure," responds the dad. "You just don't see her because when you are coming in the front door, she is always leaving through the back door."

The little girl gave this a few moments thought and remarked,

"You mean like my other Daddy does?"

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As
he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where
the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla
blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd
like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll [...]

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As
he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where
the Post Office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla
blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town. I'd
like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to
Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle. "Awww, come on... You don't even know
the way to the Post Office."

The dentist

A man goes to the dentist have a tooth pulled....

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles! I hate needles" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man objects.
"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
[...]

The dentist

A man goes to the dentist have a tooth pulled....

The dentist pulls out a freezing needle to give the man a shot.
"No way! No needles! I hate needles" the patient said.

The dentist starts to hook up the laughing gas and the man objects.
"I can't do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on is suffocating me!"

The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill.
"No objection," the patient says. "I'm fine with pills."

The dentist then returns and says"Here's a Viagra tablet."

The patient says, "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't" said the dentist" but it will give you something to hold onto when I pull your tooth.