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slobalob123's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 250
Total Joke Score: 1,266
Total Time Active: 90 hours, 1 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 174 Live Jokes: 50
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 124 Duplicate Jokes: 9
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 7.28 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 25.32
Average Time Before Deletion: 42,057m
Favourite Subcategory Sports > Football (18)

The best of slobalob123's 50 jokes (View All).
1184934
1st January 2012

Time 00:00:01

And Emile Heskey has already matched his goal tally for 2011.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 337

790643
Paddy goes to the patent office, having invented a new mouse trap. It consists of a ramp with a razor blade at the top, set at right angles. Below the drop is a piece of cheese.

Patent officer: "How does it work then?"

Paddy: "Quite straightforward. The mouse walks up the ramp. When he leans over to get the cheese his neck goes onto the razor blade and it slits his throat".

Patent officer: "Stupid git! There wouldn't be nearly [...]

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Joke submitted by slobalob123, originally by Jethro in Other - Inventions - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 199.6

1000906
If I could go back in time I would do so much good, save so many lives and rewrite history in the process.

For a start I would make Emile Heskey captain of the Titanic and tell him to aim for the iceberg.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 192.8

1143919
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Emile Heskey.
The door's over here, mate.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sports - Football - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 150

1295556
What's all the fuss about prisoners having the vote?

It's just one bunch of criminals electing another.
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Joke by slobalob123 in In The News - ??? Other (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year ago - Current Score: 134

1160537
Another hard week in the public sector:

Monday: Diversity training
Tuesday: Planning for strike day
Wednesday: On strike/Xmas shopping
Thursday: Whole day bitching about Clarkson
Friday: Sickie
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Joke by slobalob123 in In The News - Protests - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 32.4

838465
I see Man Utd wore black shirts and shorts against Southampton on Saturday.

Brazen bastards are even dressing as referees now.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sports - Football - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 25.6

800913
Well done, Corrie, with your move into lesbian porn. Cool!

However I did notice a white doctor in the same episode so do please keep it believable.
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Joke by slobalob123 in TV - Soap - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 22

1018177
My spam folder is full of e-mails offering cheap Viagra.

Bastards must think I'm a soft target.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sex and shit - Viagra - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 18.2

1153538
I'm looking to buy a house and went to the estate agent.

"I got a nice semi to show you", he said.

I fucked off out of there pretty damn quick.
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Joke by slobalob123 in Sex and shit - Erections - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 16.2


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