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sam23's Statistics

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User Statistics
User Level: User
Contribution Points: 563
Total Joke Score: 2,614
Total Time Active: 105 hours, 17 minutes
Joke Statistics
Total Jokes Submitted: 651 Live Jokes: 232
Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): 419 Duplicate Jokes: 94
Average Joke Score (All Jokes): 4.02 Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): 11.27
Average Time Before Deletion: 21,307m
Favourite Subcategory Other > Wordplay (31)

The best of sam23's 232 jokes (View All).
1148086
I was in the pub when a guy called me a cheapskate.

So I threw his drink in his face. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Other - Joke (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 322

1213606
At school, many people ask me why I'm so quiet all the time.

Well, you can't really plan a killing spree out loud. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Crime - Gun Crime (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 176

1374488
Blind people often have better hearing.

For example, the referee won't notice an offside but he will send you off you if you call him a cunt. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Illness and mortality - Blindness (+ 1 more) - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 168

1371249
"I've got good news and bad news," the doctor told me.

"Allright, I'll have the bad news first then," I replied.

"You have terminal cancer."

"What's the good news?"

"The good news is for the other patient." 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke submitted by sam23, originally by Cyanide and Happiness in Other - Stupid (+ 1 more) - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 137.6

1261609
After many years of saving, I can finally get myself the Lamborghini I've always wanted.

Now just a few more years and I'll be able to put fuel in it. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in In The News - Inflation (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 126.4

1426018
I think Eden Hazard should have some kind of warning printed on the back of his football shirt so people will know he can be aggressive.

Oh wait... 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Sports - Football (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago - Current Score: 118.2

1332780
I should have never wished for better hindsight. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Other - One Liner (+ 1 more) - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 110.2

1234086
"Remember my name, you'll be screaming it later."

Looking back, I think that was the main reason why I got arrested so quickly after the rape. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Sex and shit - ??? General (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 86.8

1233268
Did you hear about the lonely pyromaniac?

He's still looking for the perfect match. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Sex and shit - Lonely Hearts (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 77.2

1402046
Without Tesco, I would not be where I am right now.

At Tesco. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by sam23 in Other - Shopping (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 72


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