poltroon's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 9 minutes ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 979 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 8,498 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 1,847 hours, 32 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 983 | Live Jokes: | 416 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 567 | Duplicate Jokes: | 32 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 8.64 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 20.43 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 4,672m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Marriage (39) | |||
The best of poltroon's 416 jokes (View All).
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I've come up with a way to unite the Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland. Send over a million Muslims. |
 
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My daughter admitted that she is having lesbian sex with her best friend. As a reward for her honesty, I bought her a video camera. |
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Joke
by poltroon in Sex and shit - Lesbians (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 months, 29 days ago - Current Score: 402.4
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"He's at rest now." said my sister. "Yeah," I replied. "Poor bastard never had a moment's peace in his whole life." We just stood there, gazing at our dad, as he smiled down at mum's coffin. |
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"Children in Need" is on the BBC today. Given their history of employing paedophiles, I don't think the BBC are the best judges of what children need. |
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"You spend far too much time on that fucking computer." Possibly a bit harsh, but as one of Stephen Hawking's closest friends, I felt someone had to tell him. |
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I can't help being lazy. It walks in the family. |
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What's the most sensitive part of a woman? Her fat arse. |
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I've just been to my first Muslim wedding. It was fantastic when everybody started clapping at the final words of the ceremony: "You may now meet the bride." |
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I asked The Pope what he thought about people like Jeremy Kyle, who exploit poor uneducated people to make millions of pounds. "They're just amateurs," replied his Holiness. |
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If you look at how many mosques there are in London, you can only come to one conclusion. Jesus must be shit at monopoly. |
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