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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 5 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 4,650 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 2 hours, 21 minutes | ||
The best of make_a_brew's 12 jokes (View All).
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An old married couple are attending church one Sunday morning when half way through the vicars sermon the wife says to the husband, "I've just let out a long, sweaty, silent fart, what should I do?" The husband replies, "You should replace the battery in your fucking hearing aid!" |
 
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Joke
by make_a_brew in Illness and mortality - Disability (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 896.8
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An old bloke hires a hitman to kill his wife of 40 years. The hitman says, "I'll shoot her just below her left tit." The husband replies, "I want her dead not fucking kneecapped!" |
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Joke
by make_a_brew in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 5 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 796.2
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A girl takes a dress into the dry cleaners and asks for it to be cleaned. The man, who is a little deaf, says, "Come again?" The girl blushes and replies, "No, it's yoghurt this time." |
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Paddy and Murphy walking down the road. Paddy finds a mirror, looks at it and says, "I'm sure I've seen this man before!" and then passes it to Murphy. Murphy then says, "You stupid twat that's me!" |
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A dwarf woman goes to the doctors.
The doctor says "What can I do for you?" The dwarf woman says "Doctor, every time it rains my vagina gets sore." The doctor doesn't understand and asks her to explain. So she says "I don't know what it is,but every time it's raining,my fanny fucking kills me." The doctor says "Well I'll tell you what,come back and see me when it's raining and I'll have a look." A couple of days la [...] |
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Joke
by make_a_brew in Illness and mortality - Dwarfism - Added: 5 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 385.8
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A black man starts work on a construction site. The other workers nickname him "Wog". Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland". The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!" |
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A woman buys a wall mirror from B&Q. The attendant says, "Would you like a screw for that?" She replies, "No, but I'd suck your cock for a lawn mower!" |
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Joke
by make_a_brew in Other - Shopping (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 277.2
| A wise man once said, "You should treat your women the way you treat your vacuum cleaner. When it stops sucking, change the bag." |
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Camilla says to the Queen "Every time I suck Charles' penis I get acid indigestion" The Queen replies "Have you tried Andrews?" |
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Wife comes home early and catches her hubby having a wank in the kitchen. She rushes over and gives him the best blow job of his life. Afterwards he asks, "We haven't had sex for six months and suddenly this. Why?" She answers, "I just washed the floor this morning, I'd rather brush my teeth than clean the fuckin' floor again!" |
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Joke
by make_a_brew in Sex and shit - Blow Job - Added: 4 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 135.8
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