lxlDeadJoelxl's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 642 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 1,250 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 108 hours, 22 minutes | ||
The best of lxlDeadJoelxl's 39 jokes (View All).
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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I came first in the Olympics and they gave the medal to the twat on my back." |
 
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Joke
submitted by lxlDeadJoelxl, originally by @OctoberJones in Other - Animals/Insects - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 798.2
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My wife decided to splash out during the renovations on our house and bought a voice activated electric gate for our driveway. Don't get me wrong, they're dead nice, I've just not seen them in the shut position yet. |
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Joke
by lxlDeadJoelxl in Sex and shit - Wife (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 78.2
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Will and Kate have announced they are expecting a baby. Well, that's all of the BBC's reporting sorted for the next 9 months. |
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Joke
by lxlDeadJoelxl in Celebrities - Prince William (+ 2 more) - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 74.8
| I want you all to know that this will be my last joke on here because I am going to die at midnight tonight as a result of not forwarding chain mail. |
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| Hitler - Right idea, wrong religion. |
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| Do women realise that the only reason they have rights is because men let them? |
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Bin Laden dead. Let this be a lesson to all the terrorists of the world. 10 years, millions of bullets, five hundred thousand rockets, ten thousand cruise missiles, a billion tons of bombs, thousands dead, invasions, tanks, helicopters & military satellites, stealth bombers, fighter jets, the SAS, SBS, CIA, FBI, MI5, MI6, Navy Seals, Trillions of dollars.................and we will get you! |
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Joke
by lxlDeadJoelxl in In The News - Terrorism - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 22.2
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I hate people who say women are only limited to the kitchen, They're more than welcome to clean the rest of the house too. |
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| My 8 year old daughter played a practical joke on me yesterday which I didn't like. I got my revenge though. I told her that sweets taste the best from strangers. |
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| For the first half of your life, women tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done. |
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Joke
submitted by lxlDeadJoelxl, originally by Richard Needham in Other - Sayings - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 18.2
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