lukeeduck's Profile Information:
In the worst of times I find the best of times!
lukeeduck's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 261 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 3,263 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 120 hours, 31 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 984 | Live Jokes: | 358 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 626 | Duplicate Jokes: | 36 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 3.32 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 9.11 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 5,728m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Wife (20) | |||
The best of lukeeduck's 358 jokes (View All).
| Coming out of the closet would be a lot easier if my wardrobe wasn't so FABULOUS! |
 
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My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex. |
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We were raised to never judge a book by its cover... However, if the cover barely encases the book, I think its safe to assume that book is an attention seeking slag. |
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I blame myself for the untimely, tragic death of my wife... unfortunately, the police agreed with me. |
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| It's amazing how many carrots fit into a girl's ass when you promise to match it in diamonds... |
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"It's so pathetic I have to fake my orgasm with my husband to make him feel more comfortable as a man. Why do men have to have such fragile egos?"... Asked the woman in 3 inch heels with the fake tits, bright red hair and too much makeup. |
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My wife is so ugly, when she passed out at the Christmas party... she woke up with more clothes on. |
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Joke
submitted by lukeeduck, originally by The Big Bang Theory S06E11 in TV - Comedy - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 100
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A new sex survey says women can achieve orgasm simply by kissing. Funny that... Men can also achieve orgasm simply by women kissing. |
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I just let my girlfriend borrow my car, then I reported it stolen. Girls aren't the only ones capable of changing their minds midway through the ride. |
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Women say they are looking for men who are both honest and funny... Two traits they cannot find within themselves. |
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