johnny midnight's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 13 hours ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 138 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 421 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 94 hours, 53 minutes | ||
The best of johnny midnight's 95 jokes (View All).
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Milky Way, 'the sweet you can eat between meals, without ruining your appetite'. Bollocks - I ate 36 once and couldn't face my dinner. |
 
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Liverpool. The only place I've seen a baby in a pram, on bricks. |
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In the pub today, I asked the barmaid for a pint of lager. She left a gap at the top of the glass. I asked, "Is there room in that for a some lime, or lemonade?" "Yes." she said. "Well, fill it with fucking lager then." I replied. |
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Jordan/Katie Price, said 'there is nothing so bad as people making jokes about Harvey'. Has she forgotten that she made the joke in the first place? |
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Joke
by johnny midnight in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 26.2
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I've just finished the garlic diet. I lost 6 friends. |
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I was watching Time Team and I thought I saw Jordan at the bottom of a Stone Age iron ore furnace. Upon looking more closely, it was burnt-out old slag. |
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Joke
by johnny midnight in Celebrities - Jordan/Katie Price - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago - Current Score: 17.4
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I've just lost my driving licence for speeding six times in Northern Ireland. They promised me 12 pints but I haven't received one drop of alcohol yet. |
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| I've decided to enter the TV singing contest for schizophrenics - The Voices. |
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It's funny how when you're sixteen, the female sports teacher is always smiling and playfully rubbing up against you. But she doesn't like you doing the same thing to her once you've left school. Mind you, in her defence, she never had me tied up in the back of a van. |
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At the Severn Bridge Toll in my Lada car, the attendant said, "£5.40." Not believing my luck, I said, "Sold." |
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