jnwwfc1's Profile Information:
I write my own jokes. You may be wondering where all the good ones are.
jnwwfc1's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 5284 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 19,992 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 1,890 hours, 40 minutes | ||
The best of jnwwfc1's 895 jokes (View All).
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Me: "What's that smell?" Wife: "I can't smell anything" Me: "Neither can I, get that fucking cooker on" |
 
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"And so, God came forth and proclaimed widescreen is the best" Sony 16:9 |
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My grandfather developed cancer when he was younger. Some say he's the most evil scientist who ever lived. |
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I was pulled over by the police today. "How fast do you think you were going, sir?" "60mph?" I asked. "Try 135," the officer replied. So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could. |
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MSN news - Kate and Gerry to recreate evening of Maddie abduction... Any excuse for a night out. |
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Joke
by jnwwfc1 in In The News - Missing Persons - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 392.6
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The British Islamic Association has said there is no longer room for extremists within their mosques. Although a waiting list has been set up. |
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As my wife pulled up and saw the 'Police Line do not cross' tape, she immediately burst into tears Best £1.50 I've spent. |
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I looked out of our window today and said to the wife... "It's like rush hour outside." "What, lots of traffic?" She replied. "No, there's a black and Chinese guy running down the road in pursuit of a criminal." |
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I was in my taxi last night when I dropped a sexy girl off at her destination... "Oh god!" she said. "I haven't got any cash on me." "Well," I replied, "there are other ways you can pay..." "I was hoping you were going to say that," she said with a wink. "Great!" I said, "I'll just get the credit card machine from the boot." |
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An American couple got into my taxi and said they wanted to experience a typical British cab ride. So I put Punjab FM on the radio and drove like a cunt. |
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