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|Total Joke Score:||75,440|
|Total Time Active:||1,495 hours, 27 minutes|
The best of illegalnature's 1,434 jokes (View All).
Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.
Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
My wife came home with a vibrator, started waving it about and screamed, "I don't need you now! I don't need you now!"
Guess who had to put the batteries in.
|If the secret to a long life is eating oily fish, how come I nearly choke to death every time I go down on the wife?|
I asked a gay friend of mine what he used to clean his dishes?
He said Fairy Liquid. I thought I knew what he meant until I caught him wanking into the kitchen sink.
The other day, I watched as another woman inserted her fingers into my wife's pussy. Like a lot of guys in that situation, I decided to have a wank.
I thought I better stop when I got a disapproving look from the midwife.
I ended up with a black eye after trying to take a shit the other day.
Maybe I should have waited until the person having it had left the cubicle?
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