graeme130287's Profile Information:
Sometimes I'm funny, sometimes I just look like a twat. But either way, it's funny.
graeme130287's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 6 hours ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 714 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 4,797 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 281 hours, 4 minutes | ||
The best of graeme130287's 223 jokes (View All).
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"Palestine model shot dead in Israel" I hope it was Wallace, I really like Gromit. |
 
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I can't believe our 4 year old son is already looking at porn online! I said to my wife when she checked the internet history. |
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I got a call today from a distorted voice saying "Five grand in cash, or we kill your wife" Both options were tempting, but I decided to take the money. |
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I passed a sign while driving along today, which said 'No u-turn'. So I did an n-turn instead, which actually worked out better for me. |
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I love yoghurt. It's everything my girlfriend isn't. Sweet, fat free, and all over my cock right now. |
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I was chatting up a fit girl in a bar last night when a bloke came out the toilets and said "Oi mate, I'm her man". I said "Cool, nice to meet you Herman. What do you think of this bird I'm gonna fuck tonight?" |
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There was a slug in our garden earlier so the wife went and got the salt. She'll eat fucking anything. |
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Joke
by graeme130287 in Illness and mortality - Obesity (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 153.6
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My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied. |
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A black man approached me and asked "Hey white boy, do you like niggers?" "Well I wouldn't use that word personally" I said, "Like is a strong word". |
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I was driving home last night and as I looked in my rear view mirror I saw a big van which said 'Ambulance' on the front with sirens blaring trying to pass me. Yeah nice try I thought, I'm not moving, it's clearly a fake. The word 'Ambulance' is always written backwards on real ones. |
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Joke
by graeme130287 in Illness and mortality - Accidents - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago - Current Score: 125.2
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