ferret's Profile Information:
That line people aren't meant to cross...I see that as the starting line
ferret's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 45 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 19,547 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 28 hours, 49 minutes | ||
The best of ferret's 108 jokes (View All).
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I hate double standards. Like if a girl goes out and sleeps with loads of guys she's considered a "slut". Yet if a guy does it he's considered a "homosexual". |
 
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| Have you ever tried to play the Chinese version of the board game, "Guess who?" It's fucking impossible, they all looked the same. |
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I have an idea to lower teenage pregnancy rates in the UK. Replace the current sex education in our schools with porn. It would mean the girls would accept anal as the norm and the boys would know to pull out and come on the girl's tits. |
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Joke
submitted by ferret, originally by 'Jim Jeffries'. in Sex and shit - Pregnancy - Added: 4 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 1,135.2
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I just broke up with this cross-eyed chick. I thought she was seeing someone else. |
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Joke
by ferret in Illness and mortality - Eyes - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 1,046.4
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One time, my girlfriend and I did it doggy style for half an hour! ...or four minutes human time |
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After hearing that Prince Harry was caught on camera saying, "Ah, our little Paki friend.. Ahmed", Prince Philip has released a statement saying that he is ashamed and disappointed by his grandson's behaviour. He couldn't believe that he called the little Paki bastard his friend. |
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I found the girl of my dreams, yesterday, whilst in the vegetable section in Tesco's. Although, they don't like you calling it the vegetable section anymore, do they? It's "disabled toilets" these days. |
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Joke
by ferret in Illness and mortality - Disability - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 577
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My friend recently got divorced from his wife. He told me, "Marriage is like a prison." I thought to myself, "That’s not true. At least in prison you get to have anal sex." |
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I was at church the other day and when the collection came around I put some Monopoly money in the basket. The priest said to me, "What are you doing? That's not real money!" I replied, "Well, let's talk about this god of yours..." |
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The wife says it's time I lost some weight, so she bought me a pedometer. I have to wear it on my wrist and, with every step I take, it records the slight vibration and can tell how many miles I have walked in one day. It's great, I've been sat on the couch all day, watching "loose women". It says I've walked 12 miles. |
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