derek_the_greyhound's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 345 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 882 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 20 hours, 50 minutes | ||
The best of derek_the_greyhound's 29 jokes (View All).
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Old Macdonald had a really bad scrabble hand...... E - I - E - I - O..... |
 
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago - Current Score: 319.4
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It was my birthday yesterday and I got a card from Moonpig. Or 'the wife' as she likes to be called. |
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in Sex and shit - Wife - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 226.6
| So today, 14th March it was officially 'Steak and Blowjob' day. Except everybody forgot to tell my wife. I guess we will have to rename it 'Pot Noodle and crafty wank when she goes to bed' day. |
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in Sex and shit - Blow Job - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 88
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I see they have had to send one of the athletes home from the games already. He tested positive for legs. |
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So this week what was supposed to be a beautiful sporting event was ruined and tarnished for everybody with a blatant display of thuggery. My wife tells me that, when I am bailed out, I am never coming to my children's Sports Day ever again. |
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in In The News - Sports Headlines - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 51.6
| I am fed up with porn stars boasting about the size of their cocks. I mean I have a large penis myself but you don't see me ramming it down people's throats.... |
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in Sex and shit - Penis - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 21.6
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Great comeback by Europe in the Ryder Cup. At 9-11 the Americans really began to crumble. |
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| A local lad was killed in a motorbike accident the other day. Everybody must have hated the cunt because I saw his 'friends' sellotaping floral tributes to the lampost that smashed his fucking brains out..... |
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Joke
by derek_the_greyhound in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 13.6
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Apprentice runner up Chris Bates now knows how Geoffry Boycott's missus feels. Beaten as a result of Stella. |
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Had a fantastic morning shooting. I bagged 4 rabbits. Mind you on the down side I am now banned from 'Pets at Home' |
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