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|Total Joke Score:||882|
|Total Time Active:||20 hours, 50 minutes|
The best of derek_the_greyhound's 29 jokes (View All).
It was my birthday yesterday and I got a card from Moonpig.
Or 'the wife' as she likes to be called.
|So today, 14th March it was officially 'Steak and Blowjob' day. Except everybody forgot to tell my wife. I guess we will have to rename it 'Pot Noodle and crafty wank when she goes to bed' day.|
I see they have had to send one of the athletes home from the games already.
He tested positive for legs.
So this week what was supposed to be a beautiful sporting event was ruined and tarnished for everybody with a blatant display of thuggery.
My wife tells me that, when I am bailed out, I am never coming to my children's Sports Day ever again.
|I am fed up with porn stars boasting about the size of their cocks. I mean I have a large penis myself but you don't see me ramming it down people's throats....|
|A local lad was killed in a motorbike accident the other day. Everybody must have hated the cunt because I saw his 'friends' sellotaping floral tributes to the lampost that smashed his fucking brains out.....|
Apprentice runner up Chris Bates now knows how Geoffry Boycott's missus feels.
Beaten as a result of Stella.
Had a fantastic morning shooting. I bagged 4 rabbits.
Mind you on the down side I am now banned from 'Pets at Home'
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