daedeyx's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 341 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 857 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 48 hours, 23 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 32 | Live Jokes: | 12 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 20 | Duplicate Jokes: | 4 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 26.78 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 71.42 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 61,128m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Adultery (2) | |||
The best of daedeyx's 12 jokes (View All).
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BBC News: Rioters throw petrol bomb in Northern Ireland. Christ, they must be loaded! That's like throwing potatoes during the famine. |
 
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Joke
by daedeyx in In The News - Inflation (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 700
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Boss: Why aren't you working? Me: There's nothing to do. Boss: Well, pretend that you're working. Me: Wouldn't it be easier if YOU pretended I was working? |
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Joke
submitted by daedeyx, originally by Bill Hicks in Other - Work - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 42.4
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When you're stoned you drive at 5mph, so why does George Michael keep crashing into things? It's almost as though he's doing it deliberately, but why on earth would he want to go to priso... ...oh, I see. |
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Me: "I love you so much, my darling." The wife: "I love you too." Me: "Will you keep the fucking noise down - I'm on the phone." |
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I got home from work holding a bottle of champagne, and a huge bunch of roses. I said to my wife, "I want to spend the whole night in bed, with the most beautiful woman in the world, whom I love with all my heart." She smiled sweetly, "Oh Bill, you are wonderful!" I looked deep into her eyes, and said, "Well hurry up and fuck off - she'll be here in a minute." |
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Since my wife's death things have been getting harder......... but that's mainly because my new girlfriend's got a great pair of tits! |
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Joke
by daedeyx in Illness and mortality - Death (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 13.6
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I now know, saying - "When YOU stop describing sexy scenes, I'LL stop masturbating!" does not help your case during a rape trial. |
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People always used to bang on about how in touch with nature Linda McCartney was. But nobody seems to give Heather Mills credit for her environmental work. For years she's been leaving half the Footprint of an average person. |
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| If Batman played cricket..................would he own a Bat-bat? |
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After imprisoning the suspects of the murder of Meredith Kercher for four years, Italian police realise they missed a vital piece of evidence............ Only one of them was black. |
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