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|Total Joke Score:||857|
|Total Time Active:||48 hours, 23 minutes|
The best of daedeyx's 12 jokes (View All).
BBC News: Rioters throw petrol bomb in Northern Ireland.
Christ, they must be loaded! That's like throwing potatoes during the famine.
Boss: Why aren't you working?
Me: There's nothing to do.
Boss: Well, pretend that you're working.
Me: Wouldn't it be easier if YOU pretended I was working?
When you're stoned you drive at 5mph,
so why does George Michael keep crashing into things?
It's almost as though he's doing it deliberately,
but why on earth would he want to go to priso...
...oh, I see.
Me: "I love you so much, my darling."
The wife: "I love you too."
Me: "Will you keep the fucking noise down - I'm on the phone."
Since my wife's death things have been getting harder.........
but that's mainly because my new girlfriend's got a great pair of tits!
I now know, saying -
"When YOU stop describing sexy scenes, I'LL stop masturbating!"
does not help your case during a rape trial.
People always used to bang on about how in touch with nature Linda McCartney was.
But nobody seems to give Heather Mills credit for her environmental work.
For years she's been leaving half the Footprint of an average person.
After imprisoning the suspects of the murder of Meredith Kercher for four years, Italian police realise they missed a vital piece of evidence............
Only one of them was black.
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