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|Total Joke Score:||14,337|
|Total Time Active:||2,120 hours, 53 minutes|
The best of cc1957's 92 jokes (View All).
I was watching a DVD the other day and it had that bit at the beginning about piracy saying, "You wouldn't steal a car."
I thought, "I fucking would if I could download it."
Two guys are walking along the road and one of them points to a woman across the road and says to the other one, 'I've had her up the arse.'
'No shit,' says the second guy.
'Well,' says the first, 'hardly any.'
I got stopped by a copper with a radar gun the other day.
"Bit of a speed merchant are we, sir?" he asked.
"A bit, now and then," I replied, "but I only sell to friends."
So as well as three points I'm looking at three months.
I pulled a girl the other night, she said she was never in the mood for sex till she had a bottle of wine inside her.
After a bit of a struggle it turned out she meant she wanted to drink it.
I asked my girlfriend if I could give her one, she said 'Sure, be my guest'.
So I gave her 0.2 instead.
I've invented a device to help improve your ejaculation distance.
So I took it on Dragon's Den but it went right over their heads.
|Toyota have announced that they will be taking part in Formula 1 this year after all. They reckon they'll be unstoppable.|
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