bluedishwasher's Statistics

A little boy walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" he asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:

"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the boy.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff [...]

A little boy walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while his dad is reading the paper.

"Where does poo come from?" he asks.

The father feeling a little perturbed that his 5 year old son is already asking difficult questions thinks for a moment and says:

"Well you know we just ate breakfast?"

"Yes," answers the boy.

"Well the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, and then whatever is left over comes out of our bums when we go to the loo, and that is poo."

The little boy looks perplexed, and stares at him in stunned silence for a few seconds and asks: "And tigger?"

There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned to Bob and said, "Times are getting tough, my friend. I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week - I can't believe it."

At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad? S [...]

There's a few guys who always get together on Fridays after work for a drink. One Friday, Jeff showed up late, sat down at the bar, and kicked back his entire first beer in one gulp. Then he turned to Bob and said, "Times are getting tough, my friend. I mean, just today my wife told me that she's going to cut me back to only two times a week - I can't believe it."

At which point Bob put his hand on Jeff's shoulder and said reassuringly, "You think you've got it bad? She's cut some guys out altogether."

A man is telling a story... "I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood." I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly [...]

A man is telling a story... "I was playing golf, and even though I am usually a pretty good player, I was playing horribly that day. As I was about to tee off at the fourth hole I heard a voice say, "three wood." I looked around and no one was behind me so I took my stance. Then once again I heard "three wood." I looked down and there was a frog at the corner of the tee box, and he was telling me to use my three wood. I thought it was stupid but I was playing so badly that I thought nothing could hurt me so I took out my three wood. It was a long par four, and I hit the ball straight 250 yards with that three wood. Since the frog seemed to be lucky I picked him up and took him along with me. At the next whole he told me to use my five iron. It was a par three and I got my first hole in one ever. I made a least a birdie on all the rest of the holes, and all I had to do was listen to that frog.

That night I took the frog to the casino in my hotel. We played Roulette. I put my money where the frog said and won on every spin of the wheel. After that I was tired so I went up to bed. I took the frog out of my pocket and put it on the dresser. Suddenly it looked at me and said, "kiss me." Now I wasn't about to kiss a frog, but he said it again. So I kissed the frog and he turned into the most beautiful fourteen year old girl you have ever seen in your entire life. And that your honour is how that fourteen year old girl ended up in my hotel room.

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy, who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.
The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bade his time.
Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."
The girls looked at one a [...]

Annoyed by the professor of anatomy, who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest.
The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bade his time.
Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France."
The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave 'til tomorrow afternoon."