avg's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 9 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 2,086 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 32 hours, 46 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 35 | Live Jokes: | 18 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 17 | Duplicate Jokes: | 3 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 59.60 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 115.89 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 0m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | In The News > Celebrity Death (3) | |||
The best of avg's 18 jokes (View All).
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For years, men and women have argued over which is more painful: being kicked in the bollocks, or giving birth. So how can we reach an answer? Well, put it this way: about a year after a couple's first child, a woman will say, "Let's have another baby." But I challenge you to find a man who, one year on, will turn to his mate and say, "Tell you what, Dave... Kick me in the bollocks again." |
 
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| Anyone else find it funny that the disclaimer "The characters in this film are fictitious and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental" is in the credits for 'The Passion of the Christ'? |
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I had my son baptised today. The vicar was dressed in a gorilla costume Seemed strange at first, but it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. |
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I'm not worried she hasn't text me back I'm not worried about Jezza's dog I'm not worried I've only got 96 friends And I know what you're thinking, but I'm not worried about my dad dying of smoking No, I'm just worried that on April Fool's Day, the bitch will be on the front page of The Sun with the headline: "Gotcha!" |
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A friend of mine updated her facebook this morning to say "ugh, what kind of family wakes up their daughter at SIX IN THE MORNING?" Apparently it was a rhetorical question, and 'The Fritzls' wasn't an appropriate answer. |
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True story My house is up for sale with "Blacks estate agents". Imagine how hard it was to keep a straight face when they erected the sign saying: Blacks For Sale |
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They say life begins at 40 John Lennon even wrote it into a song Irony's a bitch |
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I just read the joke "I saw an advert that I shouldn't watch pirated movies because it funds terrorism. How the hell are terrorists getting money off me when I download a pirated movie for free off the internet?!" Exactly mate. In fact, I have a pirated version of Slumdog Millionaire. I could have paid royalties to the cast etc, but which one of those options sounds like it's funding terrorism to you? |
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It's Mothers Day? Oh Goody! |
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"AMERICA O high O" just posted a 'joke' which was a series of christian acronyms, e.g "Christ=Cool Heroic Really Intelligent Smart Terrific", with the conclusions that "all good comes from christianity." Some advice. This is sickipedia. If you want to win us over, there are only 2 things you need to tell us 1. Your religion's representatives are renowned child molesters 2. See above |
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