aunty_christ's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 473 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 985 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 99 hours, 56 minutes | ||
The best of aunty_christ's 60 jokes (View All).
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A man has been jailed for forging banknotes. He also got a big fine which he immediately paid in crisp £9 notes. |
 
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Joke
submitted by aunty_christ, originally by Jimmy Carr in Crime - ??? General - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 147
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I love the way different accents have the power to make you feel and think different things. For example, when I hear an Australian accent, I think of sport. When I hear an Italian accent, I think of great food. And, when I hear an Indian accent, I think I'm about to be put on hold. |
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Joke
submitted by aunty_christ, originally by Lee Nelson in Racism - Indian - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 138.4
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I'm so excited! My girlfriend has asked me and my best friend to appear on 'The Jeremy Kyle Show' I think she is going to propose! |
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I was stood in the train station this morning when a girl slipped onto the lines and got her foot stuck. "Help!" She screamed. "I don't want to die this way!" So I ran over and slit her throat. |
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I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. "Just make sure it's nice." she said. Biscuits it is then. |
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Joke
by aunty_christ in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 94.6
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I almost found a fiver on the street this morning. I was £4.99 short. |
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I'm getting a bit sick of all these jokes about fat people now! They are people to you know! I've got loads of fat friends. Well 2 actually, but it seems like more. |
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Joke
by aunty_christ in Illness and mortality - Obesity - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 32
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I was stood behind 2 blondes at the cashpoint earlier when i heard the blonde waiting ahead of me shout "Haha ive just seen your pin number, its star, star, star, star!" "You fucking idiot! Its 5163! Haha whos laughing now?" Needless to say, I, was laughing now. |
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Female coppers are so much better than male coppers. Mainly because they're so much more laid back, I mean, I've seen female coppers just randomly walk into stag parties and start getting their tits out! |
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Joke
by aunty_christ in Sex and shit - Strippers (+ 1 more) - Added: 10 months ago - Current Score: 24.4
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I was shagging the wife last night when she said, "I want you to make me moan!" So i switched the football on, usually does the trick. |
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