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|Total Joke Score:||4,098|
|Total Time Active:||38 hours, 2 minutes|
The best of alimalekalimalekalimalek's 33 jokes (View All).
My 16 year-old girlfriend's parents were round for dinner last night, after trying her brilliant cooking they asked her what her secret was.
Perfect time to tell them she's pregnant.
I was at the gym when the personal trainer started shouting at me.
"You're weak, pathetic, my Gran's stronger than you".
Now when he looks at me in court he'll have to eat his words...
And identify me as his grandmother's rapist.
I've started calling my wife "Batwoman"
She's not superhuman or sexy, she's just been hanging from the ceiling for a while.
Caught some black kid about to rob my house this morning.
Not sure how he would've done it, all he had was his bike and his bag was already full of newspapers.
After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names.
In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain.
I'm starting up a business selling car insurance but only to the worst drivers out there.
And it will be called Sheila's Wheels.
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