alimalekalimalekalimalek's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 247 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 4,098 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 38 hours, 2 minutes | ||
The best of alimalekalimalekalimalek's 33 jokes (View All).
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My 16 year-old girlfriend's parents were round for dinner last night, after trying her brilliant cooking they asked her what her secret was. Perfect time to tell them she's pregnant. |
 
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Sex and shit - Pregnancy - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,831.8
| If I had a pound for every time someone called me a cunt, I'd buy an iPhone. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Other - Insults - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 829
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I was at the gym when the personal trainer started shouting at me. "You're weak, pathetic, my Gran's stronger than you". Now when he looks at me in court he'll have to eat his words... And identify me as his grandmother's rapist. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Sex and shit - Rape - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 430.4
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I've started calling my wife "Batwoman" She's not superhuman or sexy, she's just been hanging from the ceiling for a while. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Crime - Murder (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 225.2
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Caught some black kid about to rob my house this morning. Not sure how he would've done it, all he had was his bike and his bag was already full of newspapers. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Crime - Theft (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 194.8
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What do politics and skin colour have in common? Everybody hates Brown. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Racism - Black (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 189
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After my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I decided to start thinking about names. In the end I went for Juan Carlos and hopped on the next flight to Spain. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Sex and shit - Pregnancy - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 133
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I just told my mate that I mugged a homeless guy. He says I have big issues. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Crime - Theft (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 54.2
| Looks like "Own Goal" got his dream move to Arsenal after a brilliant season at Man U. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Sports - Football - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 41.8
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I'm starting up a business selling car insurance but only to the worst drivers out there. And it will be called Sheila's Wheels. |
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Joke
by alimalekalimalekalimalek in Racism - Sexism - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 32
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