Used Condom's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 1485 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 4,029 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 254 hours, 33 minutes | ||
The best of Used Condom's 137 jokes (View All).
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If women who sleep around too much were labelled "heroes" instead of "sluts", us guys would be having a lot more sex. Someone fucked up here... |
 
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Joke
submitted by Used Condom, originally by Twitter account in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 746.4
| I can usually judge how attractive a woman is by how many times my wife calls her a whore. |
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For those of you wondering what it's like to be married... I just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having. |
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Joke
submitted by Used Condom, originally by Twitter @AristotlesNZ in Sex and shit - Marriage - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 427
| I've been cutting cars off and driving like a maniac ever since I put that "Honk if you're a paedophile" bumper sticker on my car. |
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Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other. |
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Joke
submitted by Used Condom, originally by Twitter account in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 185.8
| I can usually tell within 19 seconds of meeting a woman whether our sex will be consensual or not. |
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Joke
by Used Condom in Sex and shit - Fucking (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 168.4
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"Can I borrow your penguin?" "What?" ...just another day at the office with my work colleague Gwynn. |
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I didn't have the heart to tell my kids that I couldn't afford to fly them overseas for a holiday. So I sat them down after dinner for a few nights and we all watched Air Crash Investigation. |
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My love is like a candle... Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground. |
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Joke
submitted by Used Condom, originally by Twitter account in Crime - Arson - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 155.2
| Scorpions are nature's way of saying "Fuck you, I'm gonna combine lobsters, spiders, wasps and nightmares." |
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