Turbo-Tampon's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 732 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 8,212 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 181 hours, 21 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 119 | Live Jokes: | 36 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 83 | Duplicate Jokes: | 20 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 69.01 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 228.11 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 10,600m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > ??? Random (4) | |||
The best of Turbo-Tampon's 36 jokes (View All).
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I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, "Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?" I said, "Yes, she's nearly 2 now." |
 
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Joke
by Turbo-Tampon in Illness and mortality - Accidents - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 3,795.6
| Febreeze... Because your house stinks of weed and your parents will be home any minute. |
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Right then, I'm off on that killing spree now. Maybe i can take all the attention off the late Jade Goody and beat Tim Kretschmer's high score at the same time. |
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Joke
by Turbo-Tampon in In The News - Celebrity Death - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 576.8
| I think Stephen Hawking should have definitely renewed his subscription with Norton AntiVirus. |
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Joke
by Turbo-Tampon in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 572
| Did I already post my Alzheimer's joke? |
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Joke
submitted by Turbo-Tampon, originally by Stewart Francis in Illness and mortality - Alzheimer/Dementia - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 477
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It seems that everyone who dies nowadays, died either "peacefully" or "tragically". For example, Francesca died "tragically". To be honest, I think that by hurling down a massive hill on a sledge made from a car roof, and smashing into a barbed wire fence, I'm pretty convinced that she died "spectacularly". |
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Joke
submitted by Turbo-Tampon, originally by Rich Hall in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 232.2
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Hopefully I've got a book coming out soon. Admittedly, I don't think I should have eaten it in the first place. |
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Yesterday was my first day working on a construction site, and being the new guy I felt pretty sure that as a prank, someone would send me to fetch something that didn't actually exist, you know, like 'striped paint' or something like that. Sure enough, someone ran up to me telling me to get an 'Air Ambulance'. I thought "Yeah right! Like I'm falling for that one!" I'm now unemployed again and due in court next week. |
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"Oral or anal first?" my wife asked with a grin. "What do you think?" "I'm thinking anal," she smiled. "Okay," I sighed. "I suppose I've got to take both tablets at some point." |
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Joke
by Turbo-Tampon in Sex and shit - Anal (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago - Current Score: 162.4
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A tip for you all: When you're at a shop paying for something, if your change includes any notes, always hold them up to the light to make sure they aren't fake. See how they fuckin' like it. |
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