Toffeewaffle's Profile Information:
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|Total Joke Score:||7,908|
|Total Time Active:||484 hours, 47 minutes|
The best of Toffeewaffle's 562 jokes (View All).
I own Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops, so deciding what I wanted for Christmas was easy.
I really want to get laid.
I fucked this woman last night and finished all over her face:
"You dirty bastard" she moaned, "you could have given me some warning."
"Sorry love, I'm a bus driver" I said. "I don't give any indication when I'm pulling out."
I was in Tesco recently, when I bumped into this woman I'd started dating:
"Oi, you told me you were in the Red Arrows" she said.
"No I didn't" I said, arranging the washing powder, "I told you I was in the Ariel display team."
My Physics teacher says my understanding of forces is the worst he's ever known.
Personally I think he's pushing my leg.
I was sat in my office earlier when my boss crept in and took a seat in the corner.
"Don't mind me," he said. "Pretend I'm not here."
So I rang my mate in Australia, got my high score on Angry Birds and had a wank.
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