Toffeewaffle's Profile Information:
It might not be big, but it's always busy..
Toffeewaffle's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 813 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 7,908 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 484 hours, 47 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 1,125 | Live Jokes: | 562 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 563 | Duplicate Jokes: | 95 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 7.03 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 14.07 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 18,755m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > Misunderstanding (46) | |||
The best of Toffeewaffle's 562 jokes (View All).
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I read about these Siamese twins who are joined in the most disgusting place imaginable. Pakistan. |
 
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I own Call of Duty Modern Warfare, World at War, Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops, so deciding what I wanted for Christmas was easy. I really want to get laid. |
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I was out on a first date when I saw a couple of lads from my football team: "Alright skipper?" they said, as they walked past. "Mmmm, I love a man with power..." Purred my date, "especially the captain of a team." "I'm not the captain" I explained, "I've just got a really gay run." |
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I fucked this woman last night and finished all over her face: "You dirty bastard" she moaned, "you could have given me some warning." "Sorry love, I'm a bus driver" I said. "I don't give any indication when I'm pulling out." |
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To me, bananas are a lot like babies. I wouldn't want a brown one. |
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I was in Tesco recently, when I bumped into this woman I'd started dating: "Oi, you told me you were in the Red Arrows" she said. "No I didn't" I said, arranging the washing powder, "I told you I was in the Ariel display team." |
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| When I lost my job and started drinking, my wife was hit the hardest. |
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My Physics teacher says my understanding of forces is the worst he's ever known. Personally I think he's pushing my leg. |
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I was stood at the bar last night when an overweight girl came over: "Hey stud, got a name?" she purred. "Dave" I said, "but everyone calls me cake" "Wow, nice nickname. Is that 'cos you're so sweet?" she giggled. "No" I said, "it's 'cos when I'm out, every fat cunt tries to get their hands on me." |
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I was sat in my office earlier when my boss crept in and took a seat in the corner. "Don't mind me," he said. "Pretend I'm not here." So I rang my mate in Australia, got my high score on Angry Birds and had a wank. |
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