As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.

"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.

"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."

He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3 [...]

As I sat down in the pub with my pint, I put my Nokia 3310 on the table in front of me. My mate immediately burst out laughing and put his iPhone next to mine. I gave it a disdainful look.

"Why don't you get a better phone, mate?" he asked.

"I don't need one." I replied. "My phone does everything that I need and it's better than yours."

He burst out laughing again. "Better than mine?" he roared. "Mine has 3G, Wi-Fi, the iMessage service, a best-in-class browser, five megapixel camera, access to the App Store for virtually unlimited customisation plus a built-in iPod for all my music. If yours is better than mine, I'll give you my phone."

"I don't want your phone." I said, "Mine's the best, why would I want a second-best, second-hand phone? I tell you what, though, if I can prove that mine is better than yours, how about you give me the cash equivalent of your phone?"

"You're on!" he crowed. "Show me something with your phone and I'll show you how mine is better."

Casually, I knocked my phone off the table.