Sickoldman123's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 286 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 9,060 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 79 hours, 26 minutes | ||
The best of Sickoldman123's 178 jokes (View All).
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I said to my girlfriend, "Now remember, my mother is very old, so speak nice and slow and very loud." Then I said to my perfectly capable mother, "By the way, my girlfriend is slightly retarded." What fun that was... |
 
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Illness and mortality - Deafness (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 1,645.6
| Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder. |
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 3 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,593.2
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I saw a poster this morning for a missing five year old girl. Blue eyes, blonde hair, always smiling. Anyway, this afternoon I was in the town hall, I looked to my right and saw a big curtain which over time had sagged and I could see through. I was shocked to see a little girl with her hands tied sitting on a mattress - five years old; like the poster, blue eyes; like the poster, blonde hair, like the poster and... No this one was balling her eyes out. |
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I went to the cinema today and asked for a child ticket to which she responded, "How old are you?" "16" I replied "16 is an adult" she said. "OK then, I'll have a beer please. No? Child ticket it is then". |
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| I'm an indonesian five-year-old and I made your PC. |
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| When I saw 'XXX bald cunt action' on Limewire, the last thing I expected was a Vin Diesel film. |
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 440.8
| My nan had a heart attack on a bus today. Unsure what to do, I looked around for help. Thankfully on the window it said 'In case of emergency, smash window'. I did this but my nan still died. |
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 424
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Sky News: 'Paranormal activity sweeps America' Must be someone exercising. |
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Racism - American (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 416.8
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'New Spiderman is Mixed-race.' What a clever twist. Now he has to fight his own crimes. |
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Joke
by Sickoldman123 in Crime - Murder (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 371.6
| I love it how people can't get to work in the morning when it snows but they're perfectly capable of getting home when it snows during work. |
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