Nimrod's Profile Information:
I couldn't give a flying fuck if it's a duplicate.
Nimrod's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 164 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 7,483 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 69 hours, 1 minutes | ||
The best of Nimrod's 45 jokes (View All).
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Just asked my barber for a Justin Bieber haircut. Fucking twat just shaved my pubes off. |
 
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Joke
submitted by Nimrod, originally by Bobby Carroll in Celebrities - Justin Bieber - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 1,100
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Bought some of those luminous condoms the other day.... ....the missus was pleased, her face lit up! |
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Joke
by Nimrod in Sex and shit - Contraception - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 1,039
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Got home from the pub at three o'clock this morning and the missus was waiting at the door with a rolling pin. I said, "What the fuck are you doing baking at this hour?" |
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I kept asking my wife to stand upside down facing the mirror, so I could stick my head between her legs. She said, "You kinky bastard, what are you up to now?" I replied, "I'm not fucking kinky - I just wanted to see what I look like with a beard." |
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A man hates his wife's cat so much he drives to the next town and dumps it. When he gets home, it's there. Next day he drives 50 miles and dumps it. When he gets home, it's there. So the next day he drives to the other side of the country and dumps it. One hour later he rings his wife and asks, "is the cat home?" "Yes, why?" asks his wife. "Put the cunt on," he says, "I'm fucking lost." |
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There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water:- Number 1 and number 2. |
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| With the price of food going up, you've got to dig deep for a Chinese these days. |
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Just nipping into Bradford as I have an hour to kill. I reckon I'll manage about 25. |
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| One swallow doesn't make a summer, but it sure does make a great end to an evening. |
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Old lady goes to the dentist, sits on the chair, lowers her panties and lifts her legs up. Dentist says "I'm not a Gynaecologist." "I know," she says "I want you to take my husband's teeth out." |
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