NeverTooLow's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 251 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 3,532 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 90 hours, 48 minutes | ||
The best of NeverTooLow's 120 jokes (View All).
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My attractive female neighbour is completely paranoid. She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is.....purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree. |
 
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I was just washing my hands in the mens toilets, when I thought to myself; "I should probably be using the sink..." |
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I had just dropped my son off at his first day at nursery when I got a phone call from one of the teachers. "I'm terribly sorry sir but it appears one of the children has covered your son in Tipp-Ex." "No that was me," I replied. "What?! Why would you do that?!" she said outraged. "He was a mistake." |
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Cheryl told Cher "Being in the bottom two is actually a positive thing." That's like a doctor telling his patient after an MRI scan, "Just think of all the money you'll save on shampoo!" |
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Joke
by NeverTooLow in Illness and mortality - Cancer (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 287.8
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I'm recording a new TV show. It basically involves me running around Brighton, sneaking up on homosexuals and punching them in the face. It's called 'Black Eye for the Queer Guy'. |
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Sky News: Man Seeks the Right to End His Life In the story it says, "Mr Nicklinson is too ill to travel to the Swiss suicide clinic Dignitas." .....maybe he should try anyway? Whether he makes it or not it's a Win-Win situation, right? |
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Joke
by NeverTooLow in Illness and mortality - Euthanasia - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 187.2
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Empire State Building - Tall Big Ben - Tall Taj Mahal - Tall The Pyramids - Tall Great Wall of China - Long and wide Must be the way the Chinese see things... |
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Breaking News: Raoul Moat has been found! He was caught hiding in the Big Brother house! A very clever strategy, the one place no one would look... |
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Joke
by NeverTooLow in TV - Reality TV (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 112
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Girl meets boy, Girl and boy fall in love, Girl and boy encounter some difficulties, Girl and boy get over it and love each other forever. There, my prediction for every song Taylor Swift will ever record. |
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Joke
by NeverTooLow in Celebrities - Taylor Swift - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 92.8
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I keep seeing this hot bird at my local supermarket. She works behind the Deli counter. Everytime I go in a always go past and give her a smile, but she just ignores me. I imagine being close to her, kissing her tender skin, gently nibbling her breasts, and then losing control and ripping one of her legs off. God I love roast chicken! |
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