Monkey Man Arsewipe's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 290 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 2,776 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 123 hours, 35 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 636 | Live Jokes: | 222 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 414 | Duplicate Jokes: | 45 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 4.36 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 12.50 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 4,869m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > Misunderstanding (17) | |||
The best of Monkey Man Arsewipe's 222 jokes (View All).
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I think someone may be sending me death threats. Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow. |
 
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in In The News - Horse Meat - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 554.4
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My nan survived everything Hitler threw at her. Ironically, she'll probably die this winter from having a gas bill bigger than his. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Illness and mortality - Hypothermia - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 305.6
| Everyone lost an hour last night. Or if you saw 'The Voice', two and a half hours. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in TV - Talent Shows - Added: 2 months, 20 days ago - Current Score: 153.4
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Folk have been wondering how long Jeremy Forrest will be going inside for? With a tight schoolgirl pussy? Probably two minutes tops. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in In The News - Missing Persons - Added: 9 months ago - Current Score: 136.8
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Teacher: Now then class, let's do some simple sums. I give you £10 and you take a £1. What do I have? Little Johnny: A bank account in Cyprus, Miss. |
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What happened before the Big Bang? Indians boarded the bus. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Other - Science (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 months, 21 days ago - Current Score: 103.8
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For want of conversation at the Christmas dinner table earlier I said, "I hear the water levels in Devon have been pretty substantial." "Parsnips?" my mum interjected. "Well I don't know if it's gone chest high, Mother, but it's pretty deep." |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Other - Misunderstanding - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 101.6
| Kids: if anyone tells you you have ADHD, pay no attention. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Illness and mortality - ADHD - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago - Current Score: 99.6
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I was on the ghost train at my local funfair last night. Should have heard the kids screaming for all they were worth. Anyone would think they'd never seen a penis before. |
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Joke
by Monkey Man Arsewipe in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 months, 29 days ago - Current Score: 95.4
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Every day is Groundhog Day for me. I work in a factory making pork sausages. |
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