Mattastic the Spastic's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 129 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 282 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 19 hours, 48 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 62 | Live Jokes: | 25 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 37 | Duplicate Jokes: | 9 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 4.55 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 11.28 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 8,577m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Paedophile (5) | |||
The best of Mattastic the Spastic's 25 jokes (View All).
| According to Mayan long count calendar we've now got to wait until 26 March 2407 for fuck all to happen again |
 
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in In The News - End Of The World - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 116
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I love wanking with a dead arm. Everyone else at my nan's funeral was livid. |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Sex and shit - Masturbation - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 90
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My wife and I love sex in hotels. She likes it because of the intimacy and passion we can show. I like it because I'm usually with a prostitute. |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Sex and shit - Adultery - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 9.8
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"Clownfish are sequential hermaphrodites, meaning that they develop into males first, and when they mature, they become females. If the female clownfish is removed from the group, such as by death, one of the largest and most dominant males will become a female." So that's why Nemos Dad was desperate to find his son... |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Sex and shit - Incest - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago - Current Score: 8.6
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Want to feel the ice cold refreshment of Coors light? Thanks to British gas, 1100 pensioners will this Christmas |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Illness and mortality - Hypothermia - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 8.6
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Apples CEO Tim Cook said "since its launch, 3/4 Billion locations have been searched for using the new Apple Maps" Brilliant, how many were found? |
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Nearly came in my pants when I heard that Fearne Cottons slot was getting filled by cocks. Turns out they meant Radio 1 DJ Sara Cox... Cunts |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Other - ??? Random (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 6.8
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When I look in the mirror I hate the fat, naked man staring back at me. Why does my uncle still bathe me? |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 4 months ago - Current Score: 6.4
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My wife really enjoys her business trips, she said its because she can have adult time without our daughter. I enjoy her business trips because I can have "adult time" with my daughter. |
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Joke
by Mattastic the Spastic in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 11 months ago - Current Score: 4.2
| When my missus told me an asian lady was bending over and gagging on X factor it definitely gave the the show potential... |
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