Mattastic the Spastic's Statistics
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|Total Joke Score:||282|
|Total Time Active:||19 hours, 48 minutes|
The best of Mattastic the Spastic's 25 jokes (View All).
|According to Mayan long count calendar we've now got to wait until 26 March 2407 for fuck all to happen again|
My wife and I love sex in hotels.
She likes it because of the intimacy and passion we can show.
I like it because I'm usually with a prostitute.
Want to feel the ice cold refreshment of Coors light?
Thanks to British gas, 1100 pensioners will this Christmas
Apples CEO Tim Cook said "since its launch, 3/4 Billion locations have been searched for using the new Apple Maps"
Brilliant, how many were found?
Nearly came in my pants when I heard that Fearne Cottons slot was getting filled by cocks.
Turns out they meant Radio 1 DJ Sara Cox... Cunts
When I look in the mirror I hate the fat, naked man staring back at me.
Why does my uncle still bathe me?
My wife really enjoys her business trips, she said its because she can have adult time without our daughter.
I enjoy her business trips because I can have "adult time" with my daughter.
|When my missus told me an asian lady was bending over and gagging on X factor it definitely gave the the show potential...|
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