Fuckdat's Profile Information:
LOUD NOISES!!!
Fuckdat's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics were generated 3 hours ago.
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 2983 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 28,315 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 1,126 hours, 13 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 1,108 | Live Jokes: | 503 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 605 | Duplicate Jokes: | 59 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 25.56 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 56.29 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 20,848m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > ??? Random (75) | |||
The best of Fuckdat's 503 jokes (View All).
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As my wife and I lay in bed together, I felt the tension in the air.
She then folded her arms and huffed, "You never make the first move." "Jesus!" I said as I rolled my eyes. "Every night it's the same thing." "Well you don't!" she moaned. "It's always me and quite frankly I'm fed up with it. And before you start, it's nothing to do with you being black." "It is," I said. [...] |
 
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My girlfriend came and sat next to me on the sofa looking miserable.
"Cheer up," I said. "Oh I'm OK," she sighed, "just a bit sad." "You're fab," I said. "Thanks," she said. "You're mine," I said. "I know silly!" she chuckled. "I love you," I said. "Aww!" she gushed, "that's so lovely [...] |
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My Jewish mate has been with his Tourette's suffering girlfriend for years now. I always wondered what kept them together. Then I saw the swear jar. |
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Joke
by Fuckdat in Illness and mortality - Tourette's (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago - Current Score: 995.4
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I saw Subways lunch offer today - '£3 - Choose between 9 Subs and a Drink' Erm... Fucking 9 Subs please. |
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I used to go out with a Welsh girl who had 36DDs. It was a ridiculously long name. |
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I've come up with this amazing idea. You stretch a wire coat hanger over your head, then you twist the hook so that the point is facing you. By doing this you can hang a picture on the hook and masturbate without having to hold the picture, leaving your other hand free to use at your leisure! "I'm out" said Deborah Meaden. |
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"Have you done a sex video with your wife?" I said to my mate in the pub.
"Yeah of course!" he said. "Me too!" I said. "I've got an idea: when we get home, you send me yours, I'll send you mine, we can knock one out then delete them. What do you say?" "You're on!" he said excitedly as he rubbed his hands together and hurried home. That was a week ago. I've not spoken to him since. [...] |
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I've nicknamed my penis 'Elbow'. It's flexible, It's hard, And my mum doesn't like it on the table during dinner. |
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My wife came in complaining that I never lift a finger around the house. So I did. The middle one. |
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"Must you really lick the knife?" "Sorry, force of habit," I said, "Loads of people do it though, don't they?" "Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor." |
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