DangerousWilly's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 421 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 1,156 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 35 hours, 1 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 49 | Live Jokes: | 20 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 29 | Duplicate Jokes: | 4 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 23.59 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 57.80 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 26,936m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Sex and shit > Rape (2) | |||
The best of DangerousWilly's 20 jokes (View All).
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"Someone's been eating my porridge!" said Father bear. Mother bear sighed and poured him another bowl. Life was tough and draining for her, now that her husband was suffering from Alzheimer's. |
 
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Illness and mortality - Alzheimer/Dementia - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 772.4
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As I was sitting there enjoying myself with a pint in my right hand, a packet of crisps in my left hand, and a cigar in my mouth, I thought to myself: "How the fuck am I going to use the gear stick?" |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Crime - Drink Driving - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 146.4
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Last night I heard frantic knocking on my door and a woman screaming "LET ME IN OH GOD LET ME IN THIS MAN'S TRYING TO RAPE ME!" Immediately I opened the door and let her in, locking her potential assailant outside. Like the old saying goes: 'out of the frying pan and into the fire'. |
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I was on a date with a girl last night and the conversation started to get steamy. She was holding my hand and I said "just by using these fingers I could make you scream." Seductively she leant forward and purred "well go on then, show me..." So I poked her in the eye. |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Sex and shit - Fingering - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 44.6
| My wife and I were out shopping the other day when a black man ran past and snatched my wife's handbag. Before we could do anything, his mate pulled up in a car and he jumped in and they sped away. My wife frantically shouted "quick, get their licence plate number!" I replied "no need, it's our car." |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Crime - Theft (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 29
| It's funny what some people say in their sleep, you sometimes wonder what's going through their mind. My daughter comes out with some odd things when she's supposed to be sleeping, like just the other night when I heard her say, "daddy what are you doing over there? Why are you holding your willy like that?" |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Sex and shit - Paedophile - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 11.4
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I thought I'd been badly friend-zoned the other day when the girl I like said she saw me as being like a brother to her. Then I remembered that she's from Norfolk. |
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| I was telling my parents all about my project to build my own computer the other day. I went into lots of detail about all the different parts and components and my dad was really interested, but it just made my motherboard. |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Other - Computers/Technology - Added: 2 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 9.6
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As we get closer to Christmas I like to think of those that aren't as lucky as me, those with no homes to go to, those with no family to spend Christmas with, those with no food etc. I have a good old laugh and it puts me in a great mood! |
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Straight after we got married, my wife and I wasted no time in getting down to business and having the most amazing sex. To be honest, as surprised and disgusted as they were, I think the congregation and especially the vicar were pretty impressed. |
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Joke
by DangerousWilly in Sex and shit - ??? General - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 6.2
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