Dad's Statistics
Note: once generated statistics are saved and may not be re-calculated for up to 48 hours. These statistics have just been generated for you. Aren't we nice?
User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 143 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 905 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 58 hours, 57 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 517 | Live Jokes: | 128 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 389 | Duplicate Jokes: | 33 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 1.75 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 7.07 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 9,186m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Other > ??? Random (18) | |||
The best of Dad's 128 jokes (View All).
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I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn't do it anymore. |
 
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Using steroids makes things seem smaller and lighter when I lift now. Like my penis for example. |
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I got fired because I lied on my CV with my new employer. I really didn't think they'd actually measure my penis. |
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A Jewish mother walks her son to school on his first day in kindergarten.
"Behave, my Bubelah" she says to him. "Take good care of yourself, my Tataleh". "Come right back home on the bus, Sheyneleh. Your Mommy loves you a lot, my Ketsaleh." At the end of the school day the bus comes and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did, my Pupelah, learn?" The boy an [...] |
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Me and my wife were doing 69. I was on top, her at the bottom. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I was going to say something, but it was too late. I just let loose all over her face. Now I'm divorced because of my diarrhoea. |
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I was circumcised when I was two days old. It hurt so bad I couldn't walk for a year! |
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Joke
submitted by Dad, originally by Jackie Mason... 20 fucking years ago. in Other - ??? Random - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago - Current Score: 19.2
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I've had sex with about 31 women in my life, and not one has had an orgasm. I really need to stop killing them first. |
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My dog Stain ran away from home two weeks ago. The bad part is I got arrested for wondering the streets yelling,"Come, Stain! Come, Stain!" |
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I told my son it was ok for him to take a transformer to school for show and tell. That was two days ago, and we're still without electricity. |
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My amnesia kicked in while playing hide and seek with my kids! I can't remember where I buried them. |
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