Crafty's Statistics
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User Statistics
| User Level: | User | ||
| Contribution Points: | 125 | ||
| Total Joke Score: | 5,691 | ||
| Total Time Active: | 11 hours, 17 minutes | ||
Joke Statistics
| Total Jokes Submitted: | 82 | Live Jokes: | 24 | |
| Total Deleted Jokes (including duplicates): | 58 | Duplicate Jokes: | 10 | |
| Average Joke Score (All Jokes): | 69.40 | Average Joke Score (Exc. Deleted): | 237.13 | |
| Average Time Before Deletion: | 51,575m | |||
| Favourite Subcategory | Illness and mortality > Death (2) | |||
The best of Crafty's 24 jokes (View All).
| Duct tape is silver... Silence is golden. |
 
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Sky News: Boy aged four found dead in a tumble dryer. Don't they know if you wash him at 30, there's an 80% chance he'll live? |
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Joke
by Crafty in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 1,596.4
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I'm Stephen Hawking, and Windows 7 wa... C:/WINDOWS/system32/services.exe has encountered a problem and needs to close. Windows is shutting down. |
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Joke
by Crafty in Celebrities - Stephen Hawking - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 791.8
| If Tim Westwood falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it is he still a cunt? |
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A man goes into a travel agents and asks for a return flight to Mexico. The woman says, "Fuck off, You'll bring it back." |
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Joke
by Crafty in Illness and mortality - Swine Flu - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 431.6
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I haven't seen my ex in years. That's got to be credit to witness protection. |
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My girlfriend is taking me along to see the new Twilight film tonight. I heard the central focus is on the three characters Bella, Jacob and Edward and there love triangle. Jacob admits his love for Bella and forcefully kisses her but she is in love with Edward and he proposes to her. Anyway... How much popcorn does it take to choke yourself into some kind of coma? |
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| Boners at work can be really embarrassing and hard to explain, especially if you work in a mortuary. |
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Joke
by Crafty in Illness and mortality - Death - Added: 4 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 36.2
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It's not just a bag of sweets;
It's a chat about EastEnders; It's laughing at a joke; It's leading her to your van; It's noticing she likes animals; It's asking her if she wants to see some puppies; It's hearing her jump for joy; It's her believing you're an animal lover; It's the moment a 16-year-old girl gets groomed; It's her first steps into the van; It's an excuse to do the things you've only dreamt of; [...] |
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I took my incontinent grandmother to the pub yesterday. It was all going fine until I tripped over her stool. |
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