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|Total Joke Score:||11,248|
|Total Time Active:||879 hours, 51 minutes|
The best of Cecilthewonderdog's 521 jokes (View All).
Sky News: eight-year-old girl found dead at a North Wales holiday camp.
North Wales for a holiday? My money's on suicide.
You know, some women would be over the moon to be woken up on their birthday with flowers, a lovely cooked breakfast in bed and twenty minutes of amazing oral sex.
But oh no, not MY mum.
I got talking to a woman at the bus stop yesterday and she mentioned her seven-year-old daughter had been asking awkward sex questions.
"Tell me about it," I said.
"Oh, are you in the same boat?" she asked.
"No," I said, "I just really fancy a wank."
My mum's just had a right rant at me, calling me fucking disgusting and threatening to throw me out after finding spunk in my little sister Laura's underwear drawer.
I don't know why she's blaming me, though - Laura spat it there.
What do you call an emotionally fragile woman who can't take a beating?
According to my wife Sandra's suicide note, Sandra.
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