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Jokes under Illness and mortality > Infection

1469800
My Grandad always used to say, 'No-one ever died from a red face, you know.'

Anyway, he died of scarlet fever. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by 8 ace in Illness and mortality - Infection (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 weeks ago - Current Score: 36.4


923489
When I'm in my doctor's waiting room I always like to ask everyone what they're there for so I know what I'm going to get three days later. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Aspen in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 2 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 16




810126
I've discovered a foolproof way to avoid infection from biting insects.

Not biting them. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by exiledroyal in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 15.8


167282
My wife has just got her yeast infection cleared up. I guess the kids won't be having cheese on their crackers anymore. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Unassigned in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 14.8


288761
My wife seems to have developed some kind of infection. She’s just come home from a night out with the girls and her pussy is all red and swollen and dripping with a thick white discharge.

You have to feel for the poor cow, she’s only just got over her last bout of it. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ray piste in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 14.4


968069
My nose, when infected with hayfever, is just like my husband.

It bugs me nearly every hour of the day, it's allways coming out with rubbish and leaves you alone if you give it a blow... 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by joeiskwl in Illness and mortality - Infection (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 12.2


715293
Fucked a girl with eczema last night.

Not all its cracked up to be. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Crabman11 in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 9.2


1449208
I can't believe Comic Relief are asking us to donate money to buy malaria nets for Africa.

If anything, I'd have thought they'd want to stop Africans catching malaria. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by 8 ace in Illness and mortality - Infection (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 8.4


299282
Women if you have a yeast infection, don't ask me to go down there.

Unless you've turned it into a pint of beer, then I'm all yours. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by joeybbb in Illness and mortality - Infection - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 8.2


1177141
My kids got to see Puss in Boots tonight.

I have terribly infected feet you see. 		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Spicktionary in Other - Children (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago - Current Score: 8



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