Jokes under Sex and shit > Love
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He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly.
Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the [...] |
 
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Can you believe it? This guy wins £181m lottery on Wednesday, and then finds the love of his life just two days later. Talk about luck! |
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Joke
by sparkyboy69 in Sex and shit - Love (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 640.2
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What SHOULD happen: Meet girlfriend in town Have a good time and a few drinks Go back to her place for some drunken kinky sex Wake up in each others arms What ACTUALLY happens: Get bored waiting to go out Start drinking on your own Have a wank Make a sandwich and then fall asleep |
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Joke
by chr1s p bacon in Sex and shit - Girlfriend (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 519.2
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I met this girl in the pub last night and found we had several interests in common. Like 'My Chemical Romance'. Or Rohypnol, as some might call it. |
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| Newton's third law of Emotion: For every male action, there is a female overreaction. |
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I love you because you are kind, loving and smart. Because you are beautiful and funny. Because we can talk about anything together. Because I can see us growing old together. But mostly, because you have a vagina. |
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| You know you're in love when you start wearing condoms with the other girls. |
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Joke
submitted by jacon_bacon, originally by Jack Dee in Sex and shit - Love - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 274.4
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I thought I'd be romantic and wake the girlfriend up with some oral sex. She was distinctly unimpressed. Turns out it's only romantic if you're the giver. |
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Joke
by Ellinikos in Sex and shit - Oral Sex (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 188.4
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She texts: If you're dreaming, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're crying, send me your tears. He replies: I'm shitting, what should I send you? |
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I asked my girlfriend "Babe, the Champions' League is on tonight, can we go out for dinner once it's over?" "What?!" she exclaimed "You want to wait until ten o'clock to have dinner?" "No, don't be silly" I replied, "I mean the 19th of May" |
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Joke
by 7billion in Sports - Football (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 142.2
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