Jokes under Illness and mortality > Coma
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A woman has been in a coma for 3 months, showing no signs of recovery.
One day, whilst giving her a bed bath, the nurse notices that there is a flicker on the monitor when they are cleaning her cunt. The doctors send for her husband and tactfully explain the situation suggesting that he tries oral sex to see if it gets a bigger response. So the medical staff draw the curtains to give him some privacy and await developments. After about five minutes [...] |
 
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Joke
by sickfuck in Illness and mortality - Coma - Added: 5 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 950.2
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Just Facebook raped my girlfriend by putting her status as 'Is asleep lol' Wouldn't normally be that funny but she's been in a coma for 6 months. |
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Joke
by Robsta88 in Illness and mortality - Coma - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 400
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My Girlfriend Just came out of 9 year coma today! And just in time for our 4th anniversary. . . . |
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Joke
by Teh Joekr in Illness and mortality - Coma (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 392.6
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They say old people are technophobic, but my granddad can't live without his computer. He's on Life Support. |
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Joke
by storyteller in Illness and mortality - Coma - Added: 4 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 377
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Went to bed a boy, woke up a man. Fucking coma. |
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Joke
submitted by widowmkr, originally by neillockwood in Illness and mortality - Coma - Added: 2 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 247.4
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Hooray! My gran finally came out of her coma today! She's dead. |
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Apparently, a girl woke up from a coma to the song 'You're Beautiful' by James Blunt, when she heard it on the hospital radio. It was a beautiful sight until she opened her eyes, sat forward and screamed, "Turn that shit off." |
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Joke
by ThomasHyam in Illness and mortality - Coma (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 217.6
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A bloke wakes up in hospital after a car accident. He helps himself to some raisins from a bowl, just as his wife comes in. "Oh babe you're awake! I was so worried!" she exclaimed. "I'm fine, love" he says. "Why didn't you get me grapes? You know I like grapes." "I did" she says, "you've been in a coma for a year." |
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Coma. Nature's consent. |
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Joke
by sacredcow in Illness and mortality - Coma (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 209.8
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The wife just swallowed for the first time in ten years! I hope it's not a sign that she's coming around from her coma. |
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Joke
by oopsdontlaf in Illness and mortality - Coma (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago - Current Score: 203.8
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