Jokes under Sex and shit > Flirting
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I said: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you really badly. She said: Well, you've succeeded. Cunt. |
 
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Joke
by Crippitycrap in Sex and shit - Flirting - Added: 4 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 907.8
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I was talking to a girl in the bar last night. She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look alright." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there." |
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I fucked up a decent chance of sex last night. I was chatting up a girl in a bar. Things were going well, so I asked her if she'd like to go back to my place. She said, "My head says no, but my heart says yes..." I said, "Okay, let's make it best out of three. What does your cunt say?" |
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I yelled "Hey there, pretty thing!" to a girl I saw across the street. She stormed up to me, and said "I'M NOT A THING!" I looked her up and down, and said "Yeah, and from up close, you're not all that pretty either." |
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| I'm a pool player. I always chat up girls when I go swimming. |
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Joke
by pablo1943 in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 139.8
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A beautiful woman came up to me in a club and said, "I'm looking for a man to give me a good hard fuck" I smiled and said, "I think I may be able to help you" She winked at me and said, "Oh really? I said, "Yeah, I just saw a bloke at the urinal. Massive cock. Let's see if we can find him" |
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Joke
by FantasticMrFucks in Sex and shit - Flirting - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 138.4
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I love it when girls flirt with me at work, it gets me so horny. I don't allow it during lessons but at playtime, they're fair game. |
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I was talking to a girl, she said she hates it when sleazy men make sexual advances on her. I edged closer to her, put my arm around her and said, "that's a shame, such a pretty girl like you." |
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Joke
by James Wallace in Sex and shit - Flirting - Added: 1 year, 9 months ago - Current Score: 75.8
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The hot girl from next door came round to clean our windows today for a tenner. She said, "Have you got a ladder I can go up on?" I replied, "No, but I have got a snake you can go down on." |
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Joke
by bumblesquash in Sex and shit - Flirting - Added: 2 years, 8 months ago - Current Score: 68.2
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My wife and I were at a restaurant last night. She thought I was being romantic playing footsie with her under the table... Thank fuck she didn't see me step in that massive dog shit outside. |
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Joke
by Vaginajuice in Sex and shit - Shit (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 49
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