Jokes under Politics > Council
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Local Council: "We can't clear the roads because we've run out of grit." Hmm, I can't send you a cheque for my Council Tax because I've run out of stamps! |
 
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Joke
by Embassy in Politics - Council (+ 1 more) - Added: 4 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 441.2
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When I pulled the curtains this morning and looked out, I thought there must have been a terrible storm last night. Fences were laying flat, windows were smashed in, rubbish was strewn all over the place, and the power was out. Then I remembered. I live on a council estate. |
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| Dear Gloucestershire Council, thank you for drawing white lines around all of the holes in the road, they no longer damage my car. |
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The Council road sweeper did our street last Tuesday. As I came back from town I caught him stamping on a snail. "Whatever did that poor defenseless creature do to harm you?" I asked. "You what?" He said, "that bugger's been following me about all day." |
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I have just had two bills through the door - £38 for the Sky and £7.60 for the Sun. As an agoraphobic, I can't help but feel like someone is taking the piss. |
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Joke
by bumblesquash in Politics - Council (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 144.2
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The council say we must all try and use less water. Which is why I now dilute mine. |
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"You wouldn't punish me for something I hadn't done, would you?" I asked my teacher. "Of course not" she replied, so I said, "Good... I haven't done any homework" Unimpressed, she sighed, "That deceptive slacker's attitude of yours will get you absolutely nowhere in life..." The joke's on her, as I am now chief executive for the council. |
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| Why is it that, when I ask the council to take my old sofa away, they never come but, as soon as I chain my kids to it, they're round in a flash. |
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I wrote to my local council complaining that cars were driving too fast past my house. They told me someone needs to be killed first. So I shot a passing motorist. Now the fuckers drive twice as fast! |
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In town earlier, I saw a council street cleaning kart drive past. On the side was written "A cleaner, greener and safer city.". Safer?! It's hardly the fucking batmobile, is it? |
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