Jokes under Sex and shit > Women
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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Punch her in the face. |
 
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Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!" He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'" |
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Iron Man is a superhero. Iron Woman is a command. |
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Joke
by vilification in Sex and shit - Women - Added: 3 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 2,803.6
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I like my coffee like I like my women: I don't like coffee |
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A drug addict, a paedophile and a sadist are talking about what kind of women they like. The druggie says, "I like my women like I like my whisky: twenty years old and mixed up with coke." "I like my women like I like my soda: a few months old and flat as hell," says the paedophile. "Well," says the sadist, "I like my women like I like my wine: one hundred years old and locked up in a cellar." |
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On the eve of our anniversary my wife and I agreed that whoever woke up first in the morning should wake the other one with oral sex. Come the morning I was up first so I slowly pulled back the covers... ... and stuck my cock in her mouth. |
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Joke
by CookingMuslims in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 2,255
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My ex-girlfriend had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean. |
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Joke
by Grave in Sex and shit - Women (+ 1 more) - Added: 5 years, 9 months ago - Current Score: 1,929.8
| My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. |
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I got a call at work today from the hospital. They said my wife had been admitted and she may have to be kept in overnight. I was very worried; who would cook the dinner? |
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Apparently scientists have found female hormones in beer. They observed that after they gave three men twelve pints, suddenly they talked shite, gained weight and couldn't drive. |
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