Jokes under Sex and shit > Age

An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's [...]

An older, white haired man walked into a jewellery store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweller he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweller looked through his stock and brought out a £5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweller went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only £40,000," the jeweller said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it."

The jeweller asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, by cheque. "I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very pissed-off jeweller phoned the old man. "There's no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

I'd just moved into my new house and got talking to this fit blonde who I noticed standing in the garden next door. She told me she was busy painting and I offered to help while she went down to the shop to get more supplies.

When she was gone, I took the opportunity to raid her knicker drawers (like you fuckin' wouldn't) and found loads of saucy underwear, a huge dildo, anal beads and all sorts of pleasurable gadgets. I couldn't resist a lick, sniff and a quick wank.

I [...]

I'd just moved into my new house and got talking to this fit blonde who I noticed standing in the garden next door. She told me she was busy painting and I offered to help while she went down to the shop to get more supplies.

When she was gone, I took the opportunity to raid her knicker drawers (like you fuckin' wouldn't) and found loads of saucy underwear, a huge dildo, anal beads and all sorts of pleasurable gadgets. I couldn't resist a lick, sniff and a quick wank.

I finished up and got painting just in time as she walked in with a huge smile on her face and gave me a hug. I asked her what that was for... and she said, "Thank you, my grandparents are gonna be thrilled!"

An elderly Woman is complaining to her friend.

"My Husband never wants to have sex any more, I think he just doesn't find me attractive at all!" she tells her.

Her friend rubs her chin thoughtfully then snaps her fingers and tells the elderly lady her solution.

"Buy some sexy lingerie, then your husband won't be able to resist you!" she concludes.

The elderly lady visits a sex-shop and buys a set of black lingerie, s [...]

An elderly Woman is complaining to her friend.

"My Husband never wants to have sex any more, I think he just doesn't find me attractive at all!" she tells her.

Her friend rubs her chin thoughtfully then snaps her fingers and tells the elderly lady her solution.

"Buy some sexy lingerie, then your husband won't be able to resist you!" she concludes.

The elderly lady visits a sex-shop and buys a set of black lingerie, she then goes home and puts it on. In her excitement, she climbs on top of the wardrobe and lies in wait for her husband.

Her elderly husband enters the room and lies down on the bed to have a nap when suddenly his wife dives off the top of the wardrobe and lands on top of him shouting, "SUPERFANNY!"

After a moments silence her husband says, "I think I'll have the soup, dear."