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Jokes under Religion > Jehovah's Witnesses

985996
I bet Jehovah's Witnesses have some good knock knock jokes... I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by JoeSeddon in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago - Current Score: 727.6


163878
Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?

Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sssshhhhhh! pretend we are not in!!"
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Joke by shanksy in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 665




59153
I had a Jehovah's Witness at the door this morning and he said they can predict what will happen in the future.

Bullshit, he didn't even try and duck when I punched him in the face.
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Joke by max the storyteller in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 631.4


71231
A Jehovah's Witness gave me an Advent Calendar today. Fuck me, the first door I opened there were two of the fuckers standing behind it. I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by jimmybrown1234 in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses (+ 2 more) - Added: 4 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 520.8


389045
I murdered a load of Jehovah's at church today.

Don't worry, I left no witnesses.
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Joke by bigstu47 in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 3 years, 1 month ago - Current Score: 497.4


950705
A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home.

"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."
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Joke by bighelmet in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 2 years, 0 months ago - Current Score: 435.8


62481
Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asked if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," came the reply.
Then she asked if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," c [...]

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Joke by pornstar in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 431.6


57612
Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Atheists.

Athe...

Only kidding! Because we don't go around knocking ON YOUR FUCKING DOOR.
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Joke by Unassigned in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 4 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 414


715575
Why don't Jehovah's Witnesses celebrate Halloween?

They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.
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Joke submitted by kevinhuse, originally by Bruce Clarke in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 2 years, 7 months ago - Current Score: 394.2


40670
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man says, "Church of England."

St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. "Religion?"

"Catholic."

"Go to room 18, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."

A third man arrives at the gates. "Re [...]

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Joke by Staffer in Religion - Jehovah's Witnesses - Added: 4 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 346.4



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