Jokes under Sports > Horse Racing
| Anyone else fancy putting a bet on Stacey Solomon to win the National next year? |
 
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Joke
by monstr in Sports - Horse Racing (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 1,681.6
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Poor Stacey Solomon... ...just fell at the final hurdle. |
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Joke
by Jrarch in Sports - Horse Racing (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 532.2
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Just before the Grand National begins, I'm going to pull my wife's knickers down. So I can amuse myself when I hear "And they're off!". Mind you, I probably shouldn't be wearing her knickers in the first place. |
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Joke
by nobscratcher in Sex and shit - Transsexualism (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 453.8
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I have a near perfect system to make money on the horses. I've made several million pounds already this year and it's all down to one simple thing. I'm the bookie. |
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Joke
by Quadraplegicyetstilltyping in Sports - Horse Racing - Added: 3 years, 3 months ago - Current Score: 340.2
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I went to the horse racing for the first time ever at the weekend. I haven't got a clue about betting, so I walked up to the counter and said, "Excuse me. Could you explain to me what an each way bet is please?"
The man said, "No problem Sir. An each way bet is split into two stakes. The first is a bet on the horse to win. The second is a proportional bet on the horse to finish in a place. This can be first, second, third or even fourth, depending on the amount of h [...] |
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FOR SALE: 100kg prime 'beef' steak, some already pre-cooked. 20K ono. Email: bob@newburyracecourse.com |
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Joke
by rangeralone in Sports - Horse Racing (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 4 months ago - Current Score: 184
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I didn't win the Grand National this year. Mind you, all those other buggers were cheating and using horses. |
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Just heard my mum screaming, "Whip it harder you prick. Whip it!" She must have got Sky+ installed in her bedroom as the Grand National finished ages ago. |
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I've an ambition to buy three race horses and call them "First" "Second" and "Third" and then enter them all in the same race. They may not win but the commentary would be brilliant. |
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Was on my way out of the house last saturday when I shouted to my wife. "I'm just nipping to the bookies love, going to have a few bets on the football". "Ok", she replied, "that's fine dear". This really shocked me as I was expecting her to kick off, but with her being so nice about it I shouted back, "I might even have a cheeky bet on the grand national". "Don't push it", she yelled back. Best tip I've ever had. |
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