Jokes under Other > Cooking
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I had a candlelit dinner the other night. Everything was really undercooked. |
 
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My wife shouted from the kitchen, "How would you like your steak?" I shouted back, "Cooked by someone who knows what they're fucking doing." |
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As I looked at the pile of shit the wife had cooked for dinner last night I said to her, "Sometimes I envy Jesus." "Why do you say that?" She asked. I replied, "Well at least he knew when it was his last supper." |
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I'm not saying my wife's cooking is bad... But, it looks a lot more appetizing on the way out, than it does on the way in. |
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| I'm a terrible chef. The other day, my lamb dish was so raw, a Welsh customer tried to fuck it |
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| The Mrs has just come into the living room wearing a little pvc number, fishnets and high heels. She handed me a cold beer and told me to sit down, relax, and when she comes back she'll give me 'what she does best'. I can't wait. I fuckin love a Sunday roast. |
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What's black and smells like chicken? My wife's attempt at cooking. |
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After hearing about all of the genetic modification in fruits and vegetables, I'm on a very strict diet. Beer and pizza. |
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Joke
by P0rnAdd1ct in Illness and mortality - Alcohol And Drugs (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 weeks ago - Current Score: 4.6
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There's a lot to be said about my wife's cooking. Once the vomiting has stopped. |
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My doctor told me that my liver was blackened, and ruined by too much alcohol. "Nonsense," I replied. "And who has a Michelin star?" |
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