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Jokes under Crime > Molestation

290140
My dad told me an amazing fact the other day. He said: "Think back to a childhood memory. Since then, every single cell in your body, from bone to organ cells, have all been replaced, so technically, you weren't even there."

"Wow," I said.

"So really, I have never sexually abused you, and you should drop the charges."
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Joke submitted by woodenwood, originally by Timon Woodward in Crime - Molestation - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 160


295641
Vanessa George has sent a Christmas card to the first child she molested.
She thought it was a nice touch.
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Joke by drof in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 14




1440556
I'll never forget the news I had to give poor old Joanna.

She stepped into my office and nervously sat on the seat the other side of the desk.

"I have your tests results here" I sighed.

"Oh yes?" she whimpered.

"But before I say, I'm going to check your breasts one last time."

After reluctantly lifting her top and bra, I felt round her nipples, checked once and then again.

&qu [...]

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Joke by gazzytee in Crime - Molestation - Added: 3 months ago - Current Score: 12.6


1369886
To be fair, what Jimmy Savile did was still very charitable. Who else would fuck a kid with cerebral palsy? I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by LegitCake in Sex and shit - Paedophile (+ 2 more) - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 10


1218792
We've started a new charity for young children with sight impairments, called Young Moles.

However, the Government have deemed this an illegal enterprise.

We need your help now, so to canvas your local Govt. representative and
help keep our station open, please visit our website below:

legaliseyouthmolestation.com
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Joke by burryfurger in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago - Current Score: 4


1386101
I went down today on charges of criminally wasting money and involvement in molestation.

How was I to know moles don't use trains?
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Joke by DTQ in Other - Wordplay (+ 1 more) - Added: 6 months ago - Current Score: 2.8


1397298
I can't tell my priest jokes during my stand up routine ever again.
Apparently, people are really touched by them.
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Joke by sceder122 in Religion - Catholicism (+ 2 more) - Added: 5 months ago - Current Score: 1.6


1376450
I took my girlfriend to my bedroom last night.

"Did you know I made it completely soundproof?"

"Why, do you want to record something in it?", she laughed.

"Yes indeed," I said, locking the door.
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Joke by sam23 in Sex and shit - Rape (+ 1 more) - Added: 7 months ago - Current Score: 0.8



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