Jokes under Crime > Necrophilia
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I'm not a fan of anal sex with dead people anymore. In fact, I only did it once in a blue moon. |
 
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Joke
by TheRizzler in Other - Sayings (+ 2 more) - Added: 1 year, 10 months ago - Current Score: 69.8
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After years of deception, I decided to finally try being truthful with my wife. "Darling," I began, "I sometimes dream of having anal sex with our daughter." "Over my dead fucking body!" she screamed. Apparently, she knows me better than I thought. |
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Joke
by AnalDwarf in Sex and shit - Incest (+ 2 more) - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago - Current Score: 38.6
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When I woke up this morning the wife was cold, blue and didn't appear to be breathing. I called NHS 24 and the woman on the phone said "Have you tried doing anything yet? " "Just a bit of doggy" I replied |
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I've had sex with about 31 women in my life, and not one has had an orgasm. I really need to stop killing them first. |
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I think my wife's been cheating on me with an undertaker. I could swear her clothes were on when she died. |
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I love to do jobs in my basement. I hope nobody realises that Steve's coffin is empty. |
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I got the sack today just for giving someone mouth to mouth. I'm going to miss working at the morgue. |
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This guy in my office thought he was being so funny when he said he fucked my mum. So I responded by saying I fucked his nan. At this point he became rather upset and explained he has recently buried his nan. To which I simply replied "no wonder she wasn't very talkative then". |
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| I like my girls like I like my ice cream: fresh out of the freezer. |
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Is it still technically "Rape" if she's dead? (I'd hate to think I was breaking the law). |
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