Jokes under Sex and shit > Surrogacy
| The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born. |
 
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Joke
by thebiggay in Religion - Catholicism (+ 1 more) - Added: 3 years, 10 months ago - Current Score: 320
| If anyone's interested, I'm selling one of my eggs! (FYI it's been fertilised, is six years old and he is called Dave) |
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| You can imagine the disappointment that I felt, when the doctor explained that I don't actually get to have sex with the surrogate mother. |
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BBC: "Elton John and partner have son by surrogate." Thanks for clearing that last bit up. |
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Joke
by lwk198 in Celebrities - Elton John (+ 1 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 15.6
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A lesbian couple I know asked me to be a Surrogate father. Being the kind, generous person I am, I said yes. First we started off with a turkey baster but failed miserably, so I've been fucking them both for the past 6 months. When do you think is a good time to tell them that I'm firing blanks? |
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Joke
by MANICHOOD in Sex and shit - Lesbians (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 6 months ago - Current Score: 13
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A female friend asked me to be a surrogate father. I said, "What's that?" She said, "We have sex, I get pregnant.. You don't have to have anything to do with the kid or me afterwards" I said, "Might as well. I've already done that for the last three". |
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I had high hopes for my interview. I had my CV professionally done, wore a suit, shook the interviewers hand in a firm and confident manner, and fully researched the position. Just goes to show, there are some questions you just can't prepare for. "So Mr Miller." He said, contemplating his question. "How the fuck do you think you can be our surrogate mother?" |
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Joke
by Brit_Miller in Sex and shit - Surrogacy - Added: 2 years, 11 months ago - Current Score: 9.6
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Elton:- 'Hi Doctor, Can you supply me with a turkey baster so I can collect my sperm for the surrogate mother?' Doctor:- 'Why do you need a turkey baster?, Just collect your sperm in a specimen jar'. Elton:- 'I know that doctor, I just need to get the sperm out of David's arsehole first!'... |
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Joke
by fannywetlegs in Sex and shit - Anal (+ 2 more) - Added: 2 years, 5 months ago - Current Score: 9.4
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What really happened when Elton John and David Furnish decided to have a baby.
They had their sperm mixed together and had a surrogate mother artificially inseminated with it. When the baby was born Elton and David were waiting at the hospital. They were ushered into a ward where a dozen babies were lying in their cots, eleven of whom were crying and screaming. Over in the corner, one baby was smiling serenely.. A nurse came over to both of them and indicated [...] |
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How did Elton John get the surrogate mother pregnant? He farted into her fanny. |
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